I am a father.
My wife is a mother.
But we will never meet our first child, Harper Casey Lumkin.
After trying to get pregnant for seven months, we finally found out that my wife was pregnant with our first child on Thanksgiving morning of 2015. Just a few short weeks later, January 8th 2016, our first child was “born” by means of a D&C as a result of miscarriage.
When I first discovered that we were going to be parents for the first time I started to make plans to write everything down, to keep a journal, to make sure that we never forgot a single moment of this new adventure.
I never did start that journal.
The bad news came so quickly that I was focused on keeping the faith, keeping the hope alive. Once we realized that we were dealing with a miscarriage, I also realized that I was having very hard time dealing with the unfortunate news. I thought back to my original plan of the journal and decided to go back to that idea, to have an outlet for my thoughts and what we were going through. However, instead of a journal, I decided on a blog.
I decided to share our story with the world, and do so from the perspective of a father. So few people talk about their experiences with a miscarriage, and even less men speak out about it. I hope that by starting this blog I can help others deal with their own personal loss as well, to help others understand just what we go through, and I hope to bring hope to others. I will talk about our personal experience, how we are dealing with it, and what our future holds in store for us. I’ll talk about the moments of joy we had before we knew anything was wrong and how we just couldn’t wait to reveal our great news to our entire family, as well as with everyone we know on Facebook.
I’ll also talk about other random topics such as our two pets – our Siberian cat Clancy, and our Boston Terrier Betty.
I hope, in time, that this evolves into potential good news as we start our journey over and try again to fill the hole that is in our family, now more than ever before.
Even with the miscarriage, no matter what anyone else says, I do know one thing for sure.
I am a father.